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My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness (5)

 I usually love media that expresses emotion. Emotion is one of my favorite things that we have as humans, and this manga made me feel a lot. I could relate a lot to the character in terms of depression and anxiety, but I also felt like I learned a lot about myself reading it. I think that was the author's indirect intention. She had such a hard time understanding her own thoughts, feelings, and emotions, that she ended up expelling all of the pent up anxiety about it into her work; this indirectly lets readers experience what life looks like in her eyes, and ends up making them sympathize/empathize with her a lot easier. That's what I assume at least, because that's what happened to me. Figuring out your life without having your expectations of your parents is no easy feat and something I can relate to very much. I'm really hoping she's feeling a lot better than when she started, although I'm aware mental illness is an inherent and chronic struggle for the rest of your life.

In terms of whether it was literary or not- I would say it is. She even states in the manga that she was writing was a kind of essay, and it's pretty much an auto-biography of her life and how she's dealing with her mental health. I think we should all read things of this nature. Things like this that deal with heavy emotions and the human psyche. She mentions her parents not understanding her struggle at all, and I think that's exactly it. I'm sure in Japan it could be a lot more different that what I know, but it's true that no matter where you are in the world, mental health is stigmatized to such a degree that a lot of people bend over backwards being unhappy because that's what's perceived as 'normal'. Not letting your kid have dreams of their own or having inaccessible expectations for them really hinders their growth into adulthood, and I think the author proved that very well. She was blind about how she was acting for 28 years! She had no answers and no one to help her because they didn't think she was 'normal'. I understand that she also could've been leaning on others too much, and she even suggests that, but even still there are so many people I know (even my own mother) who just don't understand anything we're going through and say "why are you like that" without even beginning to try to understand the other person. 

It's works like this that I find beautiful even if she was being comical in presentation sometimes. It's such a serious issue we have as a society, and I'm so glad that she (in her own screwed and wacky way) found happiness and calling and is finally living for herself. I'm definitely looking into the author's other works, I loved how raw this felt and I would love to support her.

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